Levity

I feel in need of some levity. Life has just been too serious for me over the last few weeks. I'm going to share one of the funniest experiences of my family's life.

It happened on one of our infrequent summer family vacations. Let me explain.

We don't go away during the summer because of the summer playground that is my back yard with a beautiful swimming pool, batting cage and awesome woods for awesome games of Manhunt and Wolf, summer baseball,  boating season and the fact that we do live on Long Island, one of the best places to spend a summer vacation.

In 2005, we got tickets to the Pepsi 400 in Daytona, Florida. It was happening Fourth of July weekend so we decided to tie in a visit to friends who had moved to Florida, the Daytona 400 and a trip to Disney. Lots happened that weekend including getting a great picture of Joe asleep on the Daytona track, Joe not being able to remember the name of the Navigator we rented and calling it an Alligator all weekend. It was the first time in five years that we had been away as a family. Reuniting with old friends, swimming pools, NASCAR race. Life was good.

And then came Disney. The boys were incredibly excited. Does it get any better than this????

We were staying on a Disney property. We finally pull into the property and into the valet area. I hop out of the truck, the kids are slowing piling out of the truck as well when something catches the corner of my eye. Steps. Lots of steps.

Hmmmm. Steps. What's up with that? Oh. Wait. Who was that? What was that? Oh, crap. Holy crap.

Little people. Lots of them. I gather up the boys and have an intense, low voiced conversation with an almost five year old and a nine year old. OK. Let's get the rules straight. These are little people. They are as big as they are ever going to get. There is no pointing, no staring, no gawking, no nothing. I'll explain later.

We walk into the hotel lobby and wait on line to check in. There are steps leading up to the reception desk. Joe is standing on them. "These are cool, Mom. How come they don't have these everywhere????"

The hotel lobby is teeming with little people. They're hanging out, they're lounging on the stairs, they're on the top step of the portable stairs so they can check in or converse with the reception area personnel.

The clerk says Next. My husband and I head to the counter. The counter person looks a little nervous. We don't have "little people" with us in the conventional definition. My little people are bigger than your average "little person."

The check-in conversation goes something like this:

Disney guy: How can I help you?
Twisted Mary: We'd like to check in.
Disney guy: I can help you with that.
Twisted Mary: So, is there a convention going on here this week?
Disney guy: There are conventions going on in Disney all the time, ma'am.
(getting a little twitchy skitchy at this point)
Twisted Mary: I see. But this convention looks pretty special.
Disney guy: Every convention is special.
Twisted Mary: This one looks EXTRA special.

Yes, we booked our Disney vacation at the same time as the Little People of America National Convention. That year there were over 800 attendees. OMFG.

I have to give my kids credit. They were awesome. They didn't point, gawk or stare. When copious numbers  of little people are hanging out in the shallow end of the pool (for obvious reasons) and that's where your five year old hangs out, they are bound to spend some time together. The boys just thought cool, more playmates. I have photos but I won't share them on this blog. I just don't think it's appropriate. I will share this one. It just shows you how kids don't give a rat's ass...they just have fun no matter where they are.

As we are walking through the lobby one night heading out to a Disney attraction, Jamie whispers into my ear, "I am one twisted motherf*cker and this is too twisted for even me!" Like everything in life, once you get used to it, you don't see the differences any more.

It truly was a memorable vacation. I'm not sure if the actual event was more memorable or my kids' ability to handle that event was the bigger highlight.

The penultimate moment of that portion of the trip was when the dwarf tossing commenced in the pool. Tossing by family members.

I sh*t you not.

It's OK to laugh. It's a good way to start the month of March.