Obnoxious Housewives

Hey Andy Cohen! VP of Original Programming and Development for Bravo Network! Do I have a show for you!

Here's the premise. Picture it.

The Obnoxious Housewives of Nassau County

Rail thin, size 0 women based in Nassau County, NY. They will obsess over their failing marriages. They will rail against their deceitful husbands. They will tawk about how they did NOT show that letter to their rat bastard husband. I would NEVAH!

They will completely ignore their adorable child for 45 minutes while waiting to be seen by an emergency pediatrician because "I think she has the sniffles or sumthin. It could be a infection. I don't know."

Did you say Niveah? No? Oh, OK. Back to the phone call.

He just leaves the house, doesn't say a word and disappeahs for hours on end. I don't get it. Does he think I'm a fool? Am I supposed to sit around and wait for him? I don't think so.

Here's the kicker, Andy. You don't have hunt far for this delectable star. She's hanging out in the waiting room of PM Pediatrics in Syosset. Oh, and by the way, if you wait a few minutes after she gets the scrip for antibiotics, she will probably stop at Rare 650 next door for a quick lunch before filling the scrip. I'm sure there are plenty more candidates to be found there.

No need to thank me now, Andy. A percentage will be fine.

Genius

There are not many opportunities in one's lifetime to come across genius. I personally have not met genius but the efforts of a genius impact my life every day.

That genius is Steve Jobs. He is the genius behind Apple.

I no longer listen to commercial radio. I listen to my iPod.

My husband gave me a Mac as a Christmas present this past year. I will never go back to a PC again. I blog on my Mac. Its ease, simplicity are unparalleled.

I was gifted an iPad 2 by Jamie this past year as well. I read every night before I go to sleep using the Kindle app. I take notes and write my grocery lists on it using the Penultimate app. I check my email. I surf the web using Skyfire. I watch movies (Netflix) as I fold laundry or clean the house. It fits in my purse.

Steve Jobs is dying of pancreatic cancer. This I have surmised from his resignation as CEO of Apple.

I met a genius. And he set up a place for us to meet other geniuses. And he called it a bar. The dude gets us.

So I say thank you, Steve. I want you to know how much I appreciate the impact you've had on my life. We don't get to tell people how positive an impact they've had on our lives before they pass on.  I don't know you but want you to know that.

Thank you, Steve. You've changed my life.