New Year, New Rules

It's New Year's Eve. Not my favorite night. I am not sure why but I weep every New Year's Eve as the clock strikes midnight. We've had intimate parties at our home the last two years. Everyone was home. Lots of great friends over. That didn't happen this year for a variety of reasons. Jamie wasn't happy. He seriously was picking fights all day today. I knew why but he couldn't help himself.

Tonight we had dinner as a family with a guest at our favorite restaurant, Spuntinos. We shared a glass of cheer with Joe.  Then I had to say good night and Happy New Year to my gorgeous, handsome first born son as he headed off to a party/sleepover with a great family.

We have reached that stage. The baby birds are leaving the nest. It's a natural progression. I prepared my husband over the last couple of days. I told him these are the things he should be doing. He's in good hands, he's with his friends. He works hard. He deserves it.

My head knows that. My heart didn't. I usually am weeping at midnight. Tonight it started at 8:30 as he left for the party. He asked me if I was OK, I couldn't even speak. I choked out a few words. I'm OK. Happy New Year. I love you.

Jamie came home and said James wished me Happy New Year and gave me a big kiss and a hug. Did you tell him to do that? I just waved him off. I couldn't answer him. I did not tell him to say anything to his dad. My tears and inability to speak may have tipped him off to the fact that we were adjusting to his newfound status.

It's my first New Year's Eve without my son in fifteen years. I get him back tomorrow morning so I consider myself lucky. It's an adjustment period for all of us. We'll get through it.

Thanks for reading my blog. Thanks for the feedback and for taking the time to be part of my life. Happy New Year, everyone. In the words of my friend, Ben, Buon Anno a tutti 2012.

It's A Wonderful Life

My favorite movie of all time is on tonight. I usually save it for when I decorate my Christmas tree but it's on in black & white so I got drawn in. It's putting me into the Christmas spirit. My boys took down the Christmas decos and tomorrow is decorating day for the outside of the house.

This has been a difficult year for a variety of reasons. I've lost a lot of friends this year. I've attended more wakes than I can remember or than I can count on two hands.

I've felt badly that I haven't blogged in three months but I'm letting myself off the hook on that one. I've re-read my previous posts for the last year. I wrote them and I enjoyed reading them again. I am writing again and I'm enjoying it.

It's been a difficult year. I am trying to enjoy the present and not wait for things to get better. Things will be as good as I make them or as good as I handle them.

I got a text today from my dear friend Kim (and former babysitter) asking if the boys would like to go with her and her sister on their annual Christmas adventure. Before telling the boys that she had texted, Joe asked me if they were doing their annual Christmas trip with Carrie and Kim. Timing is everything.

I guess what I'm trying to say is it's a wonderful life even when you have a shitty day/month/year. And it's the little moments of joy that make it all bearable.

So thank you to Kim, NBC and Honey Delight Spa. I had a really good day :)

PS Upcoming topics: Herman Cain - Jerry Sandusky - don't play with your partner's feet under the table at a restaurant and then EAT - it's not a crime to say Buon Natale