Tea Party

So I'm doing my morning run, watching True Blood, when the phone rings. It's 8 am. I always answer the phone when it rings that early. It usually is important.

That was not the case this morning.

It's a political announcement from Dick Morris. I am calling you because you have been selected as one of our most important political conservative supporters.

Yes, I'm a Republican but I certainly wouldn't consider myself a very conservative Republican.

We must fight the health agenda shoved down our throats by Obama...blah blah blah...14 trillion dollar deficit....blah blah blah....Tea Party. DING!

It's the dumbass party fronted by that dumbass broad Bachmann who is an embarrassment to womankind.

Now I'm ripping. Tea Party political phone junk mail? To me? I don't think so.

I have to speak to someone so I listen because I know they're going to put a live person on. This should be fun.

A woman with a Southern drawl gets on the phone. This is Kim.

Hi Kim. Do you know Dick Morris?

I can smell the pride over the phone as she answers, Why yes I do.

Good. Please tell Dick Morris to go fuck himself. You've got some pair of balls calling my home at 8 am in the morning with this drivel. Lose my number.

Have a nice day, y'all!